Gender is a huge topic in today’s society. Everything is stereotyped one way or the other – boy or girl. There is no in between, no middle ground. You can't do both boy and girl things. This is the kind of thinking that must be challenged. But is raising your child in a gender less environment really the way to do it?
I think that there’s a certain approach to a gender less environment that has to be taken. Keeping the sex of the child a secret is not one of them. Sex is important. As much as people like to say it isn't, it is. It defines the way we grow and develop, not necessarily who we are. Just because you're a girl doesn't mean you have to do girl things, but you do have to develop the correct way for a girl. And if you don't know what that is, then your screwed.
I think the best way to raise a child in a “gender less” environment is to surround them with everything, boy and girl toys. Teach them both ways. Teach boys to be tough and protective, but also kind and emotional. Let them play with Barbies and doll houses and baby dolls as well as trucks and action figures and dirt. Teach girls to be dainty and beautiful, but also to be tough and rowdy. Let them play in the dirt and hit baseballs in the backyard. For me this is the best way because this is the way I was raised. I grew up playing with Barbie dolls and baby dolls and playing mommy and dressing up in tutus, but, I also played with my brother’s cars, action figures, and Legos. I went outside and picked up worms because I thought they were cool. I played kickball and smashed whiffle balls. I got down and dirty but I also wanted to be a dainty little princess. As far as I remember, female stereotypes were never pushed on me and I was never told that it wasn't okay to play with my brother’s toys. I turned out fine and I am a girly girl who wears dresses and aspires to look nice everyday.
I think that if you raise your child exposed to all sides – but still knowing their gender – they’re able to decide for themselves what they want. I wore jeans and tees in elementary school and despised dresses. That's what I wanted and no one ever told me it wasn't okay that I didn't want to wear a dress. Giving your child every option is the best way to raise a child. Let them choose what to play with; let them decide what to wear. Whatever happens, happens, but at least you'll know you gave them every choice available.
I really liked the argument you had on how to raise a child in a "gender less" environment. Instead of trying to throw out the characteristics that define males and females as very different sexes, it is best to allow young children to be surrounded by all different kinds of activities and environments, that may not necessarily be "normal" for their gender. Just like you, I was surrounded by the baby dolls and dress up toys my parents filled my room with, but I also loved playing outside with my brother doing more "boyish" activities. I agree that giving children the option to decide how they want to act and dress, despite their biological gender, will allow them to love themselves a little more.
ReplyDeleteI agree with your method of raising a child in a genderless environment. I think that giving your child all the options is the only way to allow the child to decide for themselves while still making sure they fit in society. I was also raised to dress and play with whatever I wanted, whether it was dolls or cars, and I believe that it's the only effective method of decreasing the stereotypes that your child is exposed to.
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